Rainbow or Thunderstorm?

You know what absolutely sucks? It sucks to have have faith in something only for it to fail you. Whether you have faith in a friend, a lover, a career, no matter what, when it fails you, and it will, life just sucks. My writing fails me constantly, and so do people. The other day, I began writing a story. I haven't been in smooth waters concerning writing lately, so even beginning a story was a big deal at the time. Blame it on life events I guess, but this blog was promising; well, concerning the beginning anyways. It was fiction, but some of the elements in one of the characters had so many connections to myself it was scary. Writing honesty and pieces of yourself into a character can be challenging, tough, dangerous, but most of all, intriguing. I hadn't finished the story yet but I couldn't wait to see the events that would play out in the plot. I got off the computer to live my own life. It was a Friday and I had plans. I got dressed up cute, wore my hair down, etc, etc...If only I would have stayed on the computer to complete the story. I feel like I would have liked the ending better.

Instead, I came back to a story with an ending incomplete that days later literally broke my heart. And in the midst of it being incomplete, I knew as a writer what the ending would entail. I had already lived out the answers. Unhappy with the ending, I did what any foolish writer would do. I deleted it. I deleted it in the blink of an eye. My mind never processed the act of highlighting every word in its entirety. Watching the curser blink; I pressed it. Backspace. And, it was all gone. And I could briefly breathe again. I gave up, not only the words, but a broken memory that I wasn't willing to let camp out and replay like a broken record in my mind for days on end. See that’s the problem with stories, you think you know the story but you don't. You remember only the parts you want to remember. And sometimes, you remember different things from what actually was.

It’s funny how strong people act, when everything around them feels like its crashing down; the world has no idea that the person is falling apart. The world sees only what it wants to see. No one knows there's a thunderstorm surrounding, because everyone is focused on the rainbow in the distance. Yeah, she really has it together. But does she? Don't be so sure.

There is magic in the rainbow. I believe so, anyways. I don't want this to become depressing, as depressing as it is. There is a reason that the rainbow is in the distance. There is a reason that the rainbow is huge and expands across the entire sky. It's there as a reminder that, soon, it will all be ok. And maybe you can't see it yet, but all of your friends can, and its there, and its shining brightly for you. When you look at a thunderstorm and you see a rainbow, you forget all the broken branches, and the slippery sidewalks, and the smudged car windows. You can't hear the squeak of wet tennis shoes, and the feeling of the wetness on the back of your jeans is nonexistent because when you look up, you can't see or feel any of that. You see the rainbow shining brightly, and it’s absolutely breathtaking, regardless of the wet rainy mess on the streets.