WRITE

It feels great to be back on land. Aside from that land being Japan, instead of NC...I'm still quite peachy. It's a Friday morning, and my coffee cup is bottomless while I sit here and write. I have all day to do as I please. Oh, the possibilities that await me.  Reading, movies, painting my toenails, a bubble bath, etc.

I celebrated Thanksgiving this year on the boat.Yeah, I know, of all the place I could have been its one of the last place I wanted to be, but life is what you make it. So I had thanksgiving lunch at a table with people I worked with. They are all wonderful people but I felt so alone. The food was awesome... for once. Of course, it wasn't my Grandma's turkey or mom's stuffing but it was more than what we usually have on the boat. I ate quickly and went back to work like it was any other day. It wasn't until Kirsten got up for dinner that it really felt like Thanksgiving to me. We had stale tacos with questionable meat on the mess decks, surrounded by noise, but its what I consider to be my thanksgiving dinner. For me, being thankful had nothing to do with the type of food i was eating but more about the family instilled in Kirsten that surrounded me.

This morning, I am thankful that my eyes opened and I was granted today. God allows it to happen for me. He keeps waking me up each morning because he sees purpose in me. I'm going to do my best in upholding the promises I've made to him.

While in Singapore, he spoke to me in the most curious way.

If you aren't religious, that's fine. If you don't go to church on Sundays that's fine too. I make my choices based on values and faith. Whether this was a conversation, an omen, fate or just a serendipitous adventure, believe what you want to believe. I sure do. In my opinion, God choose to spoke to me though words because that is what our relationship is based on. I have a hard time praying out loud, but if I write it down, I feel like my prayers make it to heaven faster.

 I was walking along Sentosa Island, the southernmost part of Asia while in Singapore. Sentosa Island is like a hidden resort. You could not find a more beautiful beach if you tried. Anyways, I crossed a walking foot bridge and placed a beautiful orange flower in my hair that matched my dress. I wore a long dress that day. I remember because I was constantly picking up the bottom half so it wouldn't drag the sand. After I crossed the footbridge, I walked through the sand. No one was around, and all of a sudden my eyes locked into the sand.

W R I T E.

There it was drawn out in the sand. WRITE. I was really exhausted and allowed myself to do a double take. There it was, in all caps, waiting for me.

I guess God has a sense of humor, writing that message to me. Maybe he thought if it was written down for me, it would make it to my head and heart faster. Hmmm, real funny God!

There is absolutely no way that that message was meant for anyone else's eyes. You know that sinking feeling in your heart when you can't say a word. I was utterly speechless, and my eyes began to water up with tears. I didn't cry but I realized how much I missed writing. When the ship is underway, I don't have the opportunity to write. I changed jobs at work, and the change had really taken a toll on my mind and body. Instead of working out, I stayed late some nights or just went straight to bed. I constantly felt drained. Writing has  always been my release, but I hadn't been writing at all. So all those days at work became a viscous cycle of me feeling stuck.

After seeing that message in the sand, I wrote that night. God wanted me to. He wrote it down didn't he. (Well he made sure it was written down for me). I wrote on my blog a little, and wrote in my journal. I began writing notes, and receiving cards from family and friends. I posted everything in my journal the remainder of cruise and soon realized how to regain my life and control my frustrations.

Thanks God! You really helped me out. Oftentimes, we pray for our families health and we pray to make it home safely. I try to remain thankful and ask God to take care of others and give me self control to be a godly women around people who get underneath my skin but we forget that a relationship with god doesn't have to be strict or formal. From that day on, I tried to constantly say, "Hey, God. I have this, this and this to do today. I'm really stressed out. I have a TL board. Be with me. Take my stress and do not allow me to worry." ...And its just that easy. He bears the burden for us, no matter how small.

And I wonder who's life was affected also as they wrote the message to me. What were they thinking? I hope that they also overcame their stress and frustrations and found the release they needed as they WROTE.

DG